Taken from Mastin at the Daily Love.com
Relationships are the glue for the lesson. We attract the people we need in our lives in order to learn the most valuable lessons.
I think it's safe to say that it's a Uni-versal statement that everyone wants to love and be loved.
It's also true that you can only BE LOVED by someone to the same degree that you love yourself AND you can only truly love someone to the degree that you love yourself.
Now, my inner critic immediately says, "That's B/S! I loved my EX with all my heart!" I tell myself that while on the surface that is true, if I look deeper, my last relationship was created from a place of my own low self-esteem. And as a result, the partner I chose was at the same "vibration" or in the same place as me. Why? Because in this Uni-verse, it's a Law that: "that which is liken to itself is drawn".
So, in my own low self-esteem, I loved her all I "could", but wasn't paying attention to my own needs, not loving myself and so eventually resentment built up within me. Then my love turned into anger, sadness and depression.
So, as you can imagine, that relationship ended. That was 2004. I haven't been in a long term relationship since. Why? Well the first 4 years I was so angry "at women", that I wasn't interested in letting another one in. But I started to learn that I played a major part in the outcome of that relationship.
If you're like me you love big and you want to go deep. When you go there, it's a vulnerable place - that place of intimate connection with your partner on a Soul level. When you surrender and show that part of yourself, if you are "betrayed", then it's only natural to close up and protect yourself. But if that is all you do, you will never be able to fully love again.
The solution is to learn the lesson and forgive yourself and the messenger (aka your ex). When I entered my last relationship, I had a TON of blind spots. I couldn't, ' "see red flags". So after that relationship ended and the 4 years of "blaming" women was over, I took my power back.
I realized that all the things I had wished "she had done differently" were actually my lessons to learn about who I have to become OR what my standards should be. The resentments I projected onto her were actually my own shortcomings or growth areas.
It took A LOT of humility to recognize this. And even more forgiveness of her and myself to eventually learn the lessons and let it go.
When you see your past relationship, not through the eyes of resentment, anger and sadness, but through the eyes of the Co-Creator that you are, you begin to see the lessons rather than the resentments.
And when you see the lessons, then you can send that person love, gratitude and forgiveness. And when you reach that place, you will have prepared yourself energetically, mentally and spiritually for your next love, which, if you truly learned the lessons, will be EPIC.
Can you send your EX love today? Can you learn the lessons and them bless them for being the teacher that you chose to learn these lessons through?
If you want big love, this is the humbling, yet freeing process that you gotta go through to graduate and welcome a better kind of love into your life.
Are you ready?