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Friday, May 6, 2011

Why It didn't Work Out!

Taken from Mastin at The Daily

There is common trend I am seeing with a lot of my new clients. The trend is this: they are recently on "The Path" of self-discovery, single and still heart broken.

I ask them why they feel heart broken and the most common response I get, "I felt SO good with my ex".

They talk about how great they felt with this person and how they don't feel that way any more. And then I ask them the most telling question, "So, how did you feel before you were in the relationship, were you generally happy or generally sad?"

99% of the time the answer is a curious: "well... generally sad". And when I hear that, I know why the relationship was given to them in the first place, why it's over and where they have to go from here. Now, WHY do I know these things? Is it because I have special powers? No. It's because I have been there and know what it's like.

You see, I, like many other people on this planet, have spent A LOT of time in my past trying to find that one person who will "FILL" the void that I felt within. My default daily setting was "slightly sad, depressed, but also knowing there was something better out there". For a long time I thought that something better was either food, a job, drugs, alcohol or... the most classic escape, in a WOMAN.

Well, through the pain of finding out the hard way that none of those things fill the void within, I began to search elsewhere. I began to see that my default wasn't one of being filled, happy and content, but rather being empty. I found, slowly, how to fill myself up.

I did this through being of service through TDL, through eating an alkaline diet, through Kundalini Yoga and exercise and going deep into my relationship with my Creator. Slowly, that deep desire to fill the void within with someone else dropped away and my default setting went from "slightly sad" to "neutral/slightly happy" - and when I made that change, OMG! People dropped out of my life. Old jobs fell away. Everything was upside down. I was redefining my life and changing my standards.

All that was not in alignment with my purpose and my happiness fell away and I began to see life clearly.

So now, when I see someone whose default setting is "sad" enter into a relationship, what I know is that what you basically have here is an empty person looking to be filled by someone else. And because I also know that we are born in these human bodies, not to suffer, but to LEARN, I know that The Uni-verse is going to give that person a very specific type of relationship.

Most of the time someone who is empty will attract a relationship that "makes them happy" for a while, but eventually that happiness fades and you have two half empty people trying to "get" from each other and the relationship generally implodes.

We get these kinds of relationships for a few reasons. First is to show us a glimpse of happiness that is possible. Another is to show us the consequence of what happens when we enter a relationship from a place of lack. And third is to give us enough pain to actually change.

Pain is what motivates us to change. Not getting what you want, that void, motivates you to become the person it takes to get what you want.

So when I hear about this classic relationship arc, I know what must be done. My goal as a mentor is to help give my clients the tools it takes to become a whole person. I can't make anyone whole, but I can show him or her the doors to wholeness.

I think we can all agree that in this Uni-verse like attracts like. That means if you're empty and seeking to get, you will attract another empty person seeking to get. The net of two empty people is eventually zero or negative. BUT - if you are vibrating from a place of fullness, THEN you will attract another full person and in this case 1 + 1 equals 11.

You could say that most of my work with TDL is for me, myself to become a full person.  Then I do my best to pass on the lessons of how to be a full person through love and inspiration to everyone I can. I believe that if everyone was vibrating from fullness and our collective intention was to GIVE love instead of TAKE IT, the world would be a much different place.

So, I am going to end this blog with a question. Look at your life and the relationships in it. Is your primary intention in your relationships to GET or to TAKE love?

Be honest and let me know. If the answer is TAKE love, then I have one more question for you. Are you willing to become the kind of person who is FULL enough to GIVE love?

I hope so. This will be one of the most important choices that you will ever make in your life. Let me know!




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