Unrequited Love

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."

- Anon

Taken from Mastin at The Daily Love.com

We live in a world of instant gratification.

I had a thought yesterday; it was:

"The only unrequited love that truly exists is towards ourselves."

It seems, so much in our lives, we can experience this sense of love unreturned to us by those we want it from.

You're a lover; I'm a lover; we're all lovers here in The Daily Love community. Deep down all we want is to love and be loved in return. That's the true pulse of the human condition.

Regarding, romantic love specifically, I find it funny (and at times SUPER GNARLY PAINFUL) the dance we all dance. It's like Girl A likes Boy B, but Boy A likes Girl A, and Girl B likes Boy A. I know, that confused me, too. I just think it's funny how many times we desire the one that doesn't want us, or that isn't the best one for us. And yet, at the same time, we have little to no interest in people who desire us. This obviously isn't how it always is, but here in Los Angeles, I find this trend running rampant (in my life, too).

It's really easy to get bummed when someone you really like in that way, doesn't like you back in that way. You know what I'm talking about - you desire them and they think of you only as a friend. Yeah - the friend zone. It happens to the best of us, guys and girls. And, not only that, we are also perpetrators of putting people who like us in the friend zone. It's a two-way street.

The key, though, as we dance, is to remember who you are. Unrequited love from someone can be a bummer for sure, but I don't think that actually exists. Why? It's not because I have never been the recipient of unrequited love; quite on the contrary - it's familiar territory (being on both sides, actually).

When we forget to Love Ourselves, when we forget The Uni-verse is on our side and wants us to thrive, when we forget that we are co-creators of our lives with The Uni-verse, then it's easy to feel unrequited love and have it really affect you. But, I believe that the unrequited love we are feeling isn't from the other person who we desire - it's actually from ourselves.

When we love ourselves, we remember that rejection is protection. When we love ourselves we are careful whom we give our hearts to. When we love ourselves, we see every event of our lives as lessons and know that there are no shortages in The Uni-verse. We know that if it doesn't work out with that someone you had your eye on, or that job you really wanted, something greater is on the way.

We love ourselves and are filled with this love; it's nearly impossible to feel unrequited love from someone else. It's only when we have given that person power over our lives and control over our emotional well-bring that we can feel unrequited love from them. Feeling unrequited love from someone is a symptom of low self-esteem and a misalignment with your power.

So, if you're feeling this way, take your power back today. Put your trust in the things that The Uni-verse has in store for you. Let go a little and see what's next. There is no shortage in The Uni-verse. There is someone perfect for you out there and they will find you as you become more and more of your authentic self.

When you are feeling the low vibrations of unrequited love, don't go chasing after it from other people. STOP, check in within yourself and be still. If you seek out the path of trying to fill yourself up from other people or substances, you will only make it worse. Take care of yourself. Do you! Stay in your power and do things that nurture your heart and soul.

This is what I mean when I say, "The only unrequited love that truly exists is towards ourselves." When we love ourselves, we are not seeking others to fill us and we are free to detach and welcome in the perfect person in the perfect time. And in the meantime, we fill ourselves up so that we have the serenity and joy - so we can step into savoring the waiting, instead of dreading it.

Feeling unrequited love today? Take your power back, love yourself and watch it go away.

Love,

Mastin

 

Relationships are the glue!

Taken from Mastin at the Daily Love.com

Relationships are the glue for the lesson. We attract the people we need in our lives in order to learn the most valuable lessons.

I think it's safe to say that it's a Uni-versal statement that everyone wants to love and be loved.

It's also true that you can only BE LOVED by someone to the same degree that you love yourself AND you can only truly love someone to the degree that you love yourself.

Now, my inner critic immediately says, "That's B/S! I loved my EX with all my heart!" I tell myself that while on the surface that is true, if I look deeper, my last relationship was created from a place of my own low self-esteem. And as a result, the partner I chose was at the same "vibration" or in the same place as me. Why? Because in this Uni-verse, it's a Law that: "that which is liken to itself is drawn".

So, in my own low self-esteem, I loved her all I "could", but wasn't paying attention to my own needs, not loving myself and so eventually resentment built up within me. Then my love turned into anger, sadness and depression.

So, as you can imagine, that relationship ended. That was 2004. I haven't been in a long term relationship since. Why? Well the first 4 years I was so angry "at women", that I wasn't interested in letting another one in. But I started to learn that I played a major part in the outcome of that relationship.

If you're like me you love big and you want to go deep. When you go there, it's a vulnerable place - that place of intimate connection with your partner on a Soul level. When you surrender and show that part of yourself, if you are "betrayed", then it's only natural to close up and protect yourself. But if that is all you do, you will never be able to fully love again.

The solution is to learn the lesson and forgive yourself and the messenger (aka your ex). When I entered my last relationship, I had a TON of blind spots. I couldn't, ' "see red flags". So after that relationship ended and the 4 years of "blaming" women was over, I took my power back.

I realized that all the things I had wished "she had done differently" were actually my lessons to learn about who I have to become OR what my standards should be. The resentments I projected onto her were actually my own shortcomings or growth areas.

It took A LOT of humility to recognize this. And even more forgiveness of her and myself to eventually learn the lessons and let it go.

When you see your past relationship, not through the eyes of resentment, anger and sadness, but through the eyes of the Co-Creator that you are, you begin to see the lessons rather than the resentments.

And when you see the lessons, then you can send that person love, gratitude and forgiveness. And when you reach that place, you will have prepared yourself energetically, mentally and spiritually for your next love, which, if you truly learned the lessons, will be EPIC.

Can you send your EX love today? Can you learn the lessons and them bless them for being the teacher that you chose to learn these lessons through?

If you want big love, this is the humbling, yet freeing process that you gotta go through to graduate and welcome a better kind of love into your life.

Are you ready?

Love,

Mastin